Missing our Baby

Leaving the hospital without our new baby was one of the harder things I've ever done.  I kept trying to remind myself that at least we are leaving the hospital with a baby who is alive and improving.  We truly have much to be thankful for. 

But I still feel like grieving.  My heart is heavy and I miss my baby.  It feels strange and lonely to be home, not be pregnant, but not have a baby in our arms.  I know in my head she is being well cared for and is much better off in the NICU in Seoul than here in our home right now but it doesn't comfort my heart or my empty arms and it doesn't stop the tears.

Everything about this past week feels so intuitively wrong - having her 5 weeks early, having a c- section, not seeing my baby for the first 2 days of her life, not nursing her, not holding her, not kissing her, not cuddling her, not taking care of her or changing her diapers or wrapping her in her blanket. Seeing my baby full of tubes and holes and monitors, sedated and on pain killers. Only being allowed to see her briefly 3 times a day and then walking away, leaving her behind at the hospital and returning back to life without her.

Yet I know we are experiencing peace despite the heartbreak.  I know the Lord is watching over us and her. I know this is all in His hands and absolutely did not come as a surprise to Him.  I know this has been in His plans and is ordained for a reason.  I know He is in control.

This whole week Colossians has been a huge comfort. 

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body the Church.  He is the beginning, the firstborn of creation that in everything he might be preeminent.  For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell and through him to reconcile to himself all things whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross."

For by him Evelyn Grace was created - she was created through him and for him.  He is before her and in him she holds together...He is the beginning that in everything He might be preeminent.

Her life is His, created for him and by him...It is only in Him that she (we all) hold together.  He holds all things and He holds her (and us...and you...) in His Hands.  We grieve. And we cling to Him, knowing He goes before and He has a plan in this.

Sleep well sweet Evelyn Grace.  We miss you tonght and every night.  We are praying for you - along with so many others - and we trust you to Jesus' care as you sleep tonight.  May you feel His presence and His sweet peace and healing hands. We love you Baby Girl.

Two Videos

This is somewhat out of order but I just found some clips Steve took on two different days this week! I thought they were fun and I know some family will enjoy watching, so I thought I would share here.  You can really see a difference from the first to the second with her swelling, she looks so much better already!

 

 

We are praising the Lord for the small strides we see her gain every day, most encouraging is how much the fluid is reducing daily and how much weight she is losing (the only time you would want your preemie to LOSE weight!).  She continues to look better and better every day which is such a huge encouragement and such an answer to prayer.  We feel your prayers covering us and her and we feel the Lord so tangibly in control and holding our baby girl when we can't.

 

Another comparison picture:

 

Day 1:

 

 

Today:

 

 

 

Wow Baby Girl!!

 

Thank you, Lord!!

Evelyn Day 4

It's hard to believe she is only 4 days old! It feels like she has already been here for so long and she already feels like so much a part of our family.  It is encouraging to think "it's only been 4 days" instead of the eternity it has felt like...she is doing really well for only being on day 4!

Yesterday we had some dear friends come up to visit and they brought Caleb with them. It was such a blessing to see him after being away for 8 days (the longest we've ever been apart is one night)!  We missed our little chatter box. 

Sortores visiting (Sadie and family)

We tried to make the evening special for him.  He was a little weirded out by the hospital, by mommy being in bed and moving so slow and by the equipment. He kept asking to please go home.  He also asked about his baby sister and kept trying to talk to my belly.  We explained as best we could and showed him some pictures of her for the first time (he is too young to go into the NICU and see her).  He asked a few questions about the tubes in her mouth and her special bed and then promptly told us he was "sick and needed us to put a tube in his mouth to make him feel better."  He also told me not to worry, he would get me one of his animal vitamins and it would make me feel better.  It was good to be able to show him some pictures and try to explain some to him,  His conclusion after we talked about the NICU and her special bed was, "Oh that's the place where all the girl babies go after they are born."  He brings us smiles.

Dinner together

He slept better here than I had imagined and him and daddy left early to go back to Songtan and get a van to drive me home later today.  One "random" prayer request:  When we arrived back from our trip to the States we had no running water...we've tried all week to get it fixed and working again but so far as we have heard it is still not working (sounds like maybe all the pipes froze in our building?).  Really hoping to have running water by the time we get back (or soon after).  They have not let me shower all week and they said I need to wait 2 more days (!!!) - really looking forward to a shower!  Also, we live on the 4th floor with no elevator and I've been told 4 days after c-section this will be difficult/painful to do.  We have had several kind offers to stay with friends who have elevators and running water but we just really long to be home by ourselves in our own environment and settle Caleb to some kind of "normal." It would be great to have running water and to be able to make it up those stairs today!  Warning, however, once I make it up I might not come down for a while!

We have had a huge outpouring of support from many, many people.  We currently have 2 people who might have friends in the area near the hospital that we could stay with! This would be a HUGE HUGE blessing and such a relief.  Our plan (for now) is to try to go home and give me some days to heal and recover.  During that time, Steve will try to commute up as much as he can for visits with Evelyn.  Hopefully after a few days to a week, I will be able to be more up and around and able to better care for Caleb and myself.  At that time, we may try to come stay up closer to the hospital for as long as we are able (and Steve will still need to commute as he can).  At this time it would be too hard for me to stay by myself and get to the hospital via public transportation so I think we need a few days to heal and rest first.  We have also had some hugely generous offers to pay for a few nights at a hotel if we need it (which would also be a huge blessing as hotels in Seoul are pretty expensive...apparently hotels near the hospital give a 40% discount if your child is in the hospital but even discounted it can be around $100/night).  So that is our plan for now, subject to change always and to how she is doing.

And now for HER update:

- I was able to get up at 5 this morning and go visit her for half hour, each visit feels like a blessing and a relief that she is still "ok."  Here is what she looks like this morning:

- I was able to talk to the on-call neonatal specialist this morning (Evelyn Grace's normal doctor is Dr. Kim but this morning he wasn't there so the on call doctor came over and introduced herself).  One thing I have really appreciated about this NICU is every visit time one of the doctors or several of the nurses come over and spend a good 10 minutes talking to us and sharing updates and answering any questions we may have (although we really don't even know what to ask!).

- Evelyn gave a lot of urine output last night, which they take as a good sign and are really happy about. Go Baby Girl!

- They had hoped that once they drained all the fluid from her lungs, it would end (that would be best possible case scenario) but the fluid has started returning and continues to drain more.  The good news in this is that the first few days her fluid output was about 300cc per day and yesterday it was down to 150cc, which means it is decreasing in amount.  The doctor said many Hydrops babies need medication to try to stop the draining but since she is reducing on her own (and it isn't increasing which is huge too), they are going to try to let her body continue to reduce and see if it will self heal/correct without needing medication.  She seemed hopeful since it had already reduced.  This would be really good and we hope to continue to see reduction in fluid levels every day.

- For  now she is estimating minimum stay to be 3-4 weeks for Evelyn (that would be best case).

- Her weight today is 3300grams, about 7.2 pounds, which is down quite a bit from her birth weight of 9.02 pounds! This is a great sign of fluid reduction and swelling decrease.

- She continues to be sedated and on high pain medications.  I hate seeing her need to be sedated but it is really imortant for her care right now.  It is so sad that she needs high pain meds but I'm so glad she isn't feeling all the pain she is in.  She does occcasionally open her eyes though for brief periods before they roll back in her head and she also startles or shows reflexes (like curling her toes or fingers or grimacing) sometimes too. She tries to cry sometimes and scrunches up her whole face but no sounds come out, I'm assuming because of all the tubing in her throat? I have also caught her sucking on her tubes some...maybe she'll end up being a good breastfeeder after all of this? She did like to suck her thumb on ultrasound pictures!

- Right now they are not feeding her "real food" but she has IV nutrition.  They need to wait for more of a fluid reduction before they try milk but the doctor sounded hopeful about starting in about a week. They are very pro-breastfeeding in this NICU and every time I come they encourage me to pump and bring milk.  Now I just need my milk to come in!  Once they try some milk with her, they can further test to see possible diagnosis/treatment depending on how her body responds to the feeding.  This will be another milestone to look for.

- They did a sonogram of her brain last night and it looked good.  They said they can not tell if everything will function correctly, if anything was damaged or if she will have any issues that way but they can tell from it that her entire brain is there and formed (nothing missing structurally) and that there is no hemmoraging on the brain.  Another positive report.

- I asked her about Evelyn's chances of leading a "normal" life at some point and she said that IF a hydrops baby survives, they usually go on to living a fairly "normal" life.  The biggest thing is getting her out of NICU and functioning on her own.  Time will tell and she said the longer she is in NICU, the less chances she has of leaving (but we're only on Day 4 so we've got time!).

- We have had several people write to let us know "a friend of a friend" or "someone from Church" had a baby with Hydrops and we have heard several really positive and happy endings, with the babies leaving and going on to live great lives.  These stories have been so encouraging and uplifting to dwell on.  We know it rests in the Lord's hands and it is great to hear of His faithfulness in healing other babies with similar conditions.  I know His hand is on her, He is holding her, He is sustaining her and He already knows the number of her days.  It's in His hands and she is in His hands, which is the safest, best possible hands to be in! 

- If you are interested, here are a few blogs of similar conditions....It helps us to read because we are still trying to figure out what we are dealing with and make sense of some of the conversations we have been having with the NICU doctors (language is a big barrier for us, some times they just write a few words on a post it note and we go "research" - aka Google it).  Click Here and Here and Here. Of course from what we are told each Hydrops case is different and can vary quite a bit but maybe some of the ways these blogs explain it will help clarify it for you better than I can.  They are hopeful at the very least.

- They wrote down the words "Chylothorax" "thracic duct leak" and "lymphatic" - not a for sure diagnosis but one of their suspicions at this time....still unconfirmed.  We haven't been able to find a lot on what exactly this means but are working on it...If you know more than we do, feel free to share!

- The neonatal specialist this morning told me that Hydrops is a condition that neonatal specialists hate coming accross because it can be very frustrating - often they do many tests and nothing is ever confirmed or diagnosed.  Some times the body heals itself and baby is okay but they never truly knew what the cause was. Sometimes they are able to find a cause. Sometimes they run every test imaginable and are still inconclusive.  It sounds like a very unknown condition and they are doing their best. From everything I read, it sounds like the care she is receiving is the same care she would receive back in the States.

That's all for now! I hope it helps by way of update and information. It is all we really know at this point, as we continue to wait and pray.

Prayers for figuring out how to maximize time seeing her and also recover would be greatly appreciated as well as continued prayers that her doctors would be wise in their treatment plans and that the Lord would sustain her and us during this time.

Thank you again for our prayers and outpouring of support to us during this time. It really means so much more than you will ever know.

Evelyn's Medical Update

It has been a roller coaster of emotions this past week, from first finding out something was wrong with our baby girl to the unfolding story of what is going on with her.

It is frustrating to a point because we really don't know that much.  There are a lot of unknowns still and they still don't know for sure what has caused the Hydrops or how exactly they need to treat it.  I'm sure there is also an added barrier with language too.  Although we have been very thankful that the doctors here all speak English very well, it still is not their first language and the topics we are talking about are highly specialized so it makes communication and understanding more difficult. 

Mama meeting Evelyn for the first time

This is what we know:

- At our 35 week ultrasound Baby Evelyn was diagnosed with a rare condition called Hydrops.  She had fluid surrounding her lungs and heart, excess amniotic fluid and her body was beginning to swell.

- Her previous ultrasounds were all "normal" and showed no signs of Hydrops so it appears to be a late onset, which bodes in her favor.

- She has really cute little hands and feet and lots of dark hair

- She was born at 35 weeks, which is later than most Hydrops babies and this also is a really positive thing.

- She is responding well to everything they have done to her and remains in "stable" condition.  She can not breath on her own (her lungs are very immature) so she is on a breathing machine.  She is also constantly having fluid drain out of her lungs.  She has lost about 1.5lbs already as the fluid has drained and the swelling is going down.  This is really good news - just about the only time you would want your infant to LOSE weight.

- She started urinating on her own yesterday - this was really good news as it shows her body is starting to function on it's own.  She has a cathetar and her body is making a good level of output, which makes the doctors happy (and us of course!).

- They have been able to reduce her oxygen levels slightly because she is trying to take breaths on her own. 

- Because of her poor oxygenation and because her lungs are not functioning on their own, it has caused her to have Persistent Pulminary Hypertension which could turn serious so they are monitoring this heavily.

- She is not able to eat and won't for a while...They have her on IV nutrition for now.

- One negative thing is they were really hoping once the fluid was drained, it would be gone but today they are seeing that more fluid is being replaced in the lungs as they are draining which is not the best case scenario.  They will continue trying to figure out "why."  It's hard to see our sweet baby girl with holes in her chest, draining dark fluid. 

- Her heart continues to beat strongly, which is another good sign.  We love watching her little chest move up and down as she lays in her special bed. We love the times we get to spend with her, praying over her, singing to her and telling her all about our God, our family and our friends.

3 of the 4 of us!

Evelyn Grace joins our family

Returning from our trip to the States last week, I couldn't wait to have some time to blog about our trip and all the fun pictures that went along with it.  It was an exhausting trip but we had a great time and enjoyed every minute of seeing our families, watching Renee and Chris get married and being all together for Christmas.  But all the fun memories will need to wait; our week was turned upside down.

On the flight back I told Steve that the entire month of January all I wanted to do was sit at home and do nothing.  I said I would go to Church, go to our MOMS group and other than that I just wanted to be home, get settled and prepare for Baby Girl's birth.  I think Caleb felt the same way - as soon as we got home he kept saying "I'm just so glad to be home, I'm just so glad to be home, I love our house and my own bed!" We had about two days to enjoy it.

Although I was really tired and didn't really feel like making a trip up to Seoul on Thursday, I was glad to remember I had a doctor appointment - I felt like I really needed to go in and had been increasingly uncomfortable the past 2 weeks.  Part of me wondered if I could be in early labor and another part of me wondered why I was being such a wimp this pregnancy!  Although I was uncomfortable with Caleb at the end, I didn't remember it being so bad.

Steve had a meeting come up that morning so he wasn't able to go with me to my 35 week appointment like he had for my others.  I made arrangements for Caleb to spend the morning with Michelle and planned to head up on my own.  My friend Hannah heard about it and insisted on coming up with me. I felt bad having her drag her 8 month old all the way up to Seoul for my doctor appointment but she insisted and we thought we could get some much needed "catch up" time in on the bus and maybe have coffee or lunch after.  I am so glad she came along!

At the appointment my doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to see baby's position.  I didn't really want another ultrasond and didn't feel like it was needed just to determine position but I'd also had this nagging worry that something wasn't right so I thought the ultrasound would help me feel more at easse and reassure me everthing was okay.  I'm so glad for that ultrasound!

It took longer than I had thought it would for a quick position check but I enjoyed seeing Baby Girl and didn't think much of it.  When I went in to see the doctor after the scan I could tell he seemed upset.  I sat down and he told me he was very concerned about what the ultrasound picked up  - that I had an over abudnance of amniotic fluid (causing all that pressure and discomfort I'd been having for weeks) and that baby had fluid and swelling, a condition he referred to as Hydrops.  He told me I needed to go immediately to a bigger hospital for more testing and possibly an emergency c-section.  He was fantastic and gave me a referral to what he called "the best hospital for this in the country." He also called ahead to a friend of his at the hospital to personally tell her we were coming and ask her to care for us.  He also sent one of his English speaking staff wtih us to show us how to get to the hospital and help me get settled there. We called Steve to come up immediately and I was again so glad Hannah was there with me.

Everything from there has been a blur all week.  It has been a roller coaster, up and down, full of good moments and terrible moments, full of optimism one minute and despair the next.  Upon further testing, they confirmed the condition to be Hydrops and instead of immediate c-section they decided to try to first remove some of the amniotic fluid and also remove the fluid from Baby's lungs to see if that could help buy her some time (the longer she could stay inside the womb the better and her lungs were develomentally behind for her age because they had been compressed by the fluid and unable to grow.  The proceedure was successful in reducing the amniotic fluid (they removed 1700cc's of fluid from my womb!) and they were also able to reach baby and reduce the fluid in her lungs as well.  My amniotic fluid index was 46 before the proceedure (normal is 15 and high end is 20). Afer the procedure it was reduced to an index of 34 and I could feel the relief almost immediately.  I also started having contractions (which is a common reponse to the procedure) so I was put on Magnesium Sulfate to try to stop labor and closely monitored around the clock.  The doctor was hopeful about the procedure.

The next day, however, the ultrasond showed more fluid had built up in Baby Girl and her swelling was increasing.  They started steroid injections to increase her lung development in preparation for birth.  The next two days felt like blow after blow.  One thing after another seemed to come up or happen and it got to the point we literally cringed every time a staff person came into our room, wondernig "what now?!"  It felt like we were living a nightmare that kept getting worse.  We tried hard to stay positive and not focus on the "what if's" and worst case scenarios.  We felt huge comfort knowing none of this came as a suprirse to the Lord, that He holds all life together and that He had created this little baby girl and that her life is His. He loves her more than we do and He has plans for her. 

We had to wait for a spot in the NICU to open up - there are 38 beds available in the NICU and all were full.  We also wanted to give her as much time as we could before being born.  They continued to monitor her closely to make sure she was okay and Monday decided she really needed to be born the next day.  They could only do so much for her in the womb and once she was born, they could begin to figure out what all was wrong and try to help her. They removed fluid one last time from her lungs right before surgery to try to give her the easiest start possible with the least amount of pressure on her lungs.  The proceedure was successful and we went immediately to surgery after.

Originally they had told us Steve could not be present for the surgery and this was really hard for me.  They ended up compromising, saying Steve could be in until the birth of the baby and then he would need to leave - which still terrified me.  At the last minute we asked again and the doctor said she would allow for Steve to stay the whole time which was a huge relief and answer to prayer!

Having a c-section was a surreal expereience.  I didn't realize how much you can actually feel but just without any pain.  Evelyn Grace Houser was born at 11am on January 8, 2013.  She weighed 9.02lbs at birth (at 35 weeks!), mostly due to how swollen she was and how much fluid she was retaining.  Sadly, I wasn't able to see Evelyn Grace after she was born (it was an emergency so no time for holding her up or bringing her over to meet me). I did catch a glimpse of her little purple foot and Steve did his best to describe her to me, most importantly that "she has lots of dark hair!"  I kept picturing her all pregnancy being born with lots of dark hair so that was really fun. 

Because of my post-surgery condition I wasn't able to go see Evelyn until last night but Steve visited at every chance we were given (visiting hours are strict and only are from 5-5:30am, 1-2pm and 7:30-8pm).  She is in stable condition, which we are praising the Lord for.  She seems to improve a little bit every day and the doctors are all very hopeful and optimistic.  A typical Hydrops baby is not given a great outlook but due to how late she was born, her size at birth, and the fact that there was no indication of Hydrops at her 20 week ultrasound or at the ultrasound we had right before traveling to the States (30 week). 

Tomorrow I am being discharged.  Sweet Baby Evelyn Grace needs to continue her care here at the NICU (about an hour and fifteen minutes from our home in Songtan).  The thought of leaving the hospital and leaving her here has been really hard to come to terms with...we are so thankful that she is stable and alive and able to get the care she needs but it will be really hard to return home without our baby girl and know she is so far away without us.  Please continue to pray with us for healing and that the Lord would sustain her and give her life. Please pray the doctors are able to determine a cause and that they would have wisdom in their care plan for her.  Please also pray for us as we return home, leaving the 4th member of our family here and as we try to figure out how we can get up to see her as often as possible. 

Every time we see Evelyn Grace we tell her about all the people praying for her around the world (literally).  It is great to comfort her with all your prayers, and it comforts our hearts too.  She is already one loved and prayed for little girl!  We have felt so blessed by the outpouring of love, support, concern, care and prayers that we have received.  Thank you to each of you.  If you've written us a note or email, please know it has meant SO much to us.  We haven't had time/ability to respond to each one but please know that they mean absolutely so much to us.

I'm Dreaming of a....

MINNESOTA CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to several people who are helping us get home, Caleb and I will (Lord willing) be flying to MN the last few days of November and spending the month of December with family and friends in the States!!  I could not be more excited - it has been a year and half since we were back last.  Caleb was 17 months the last time he was around family or in the States...and has changed so much in that time!  

Caleb with Auntie Renee & cousins Summer 2011

This will also be his first Christmas with family.  The plan is for Steve to join us around the end of December and stay 10 days, flying back with us to Korea.

The reason we are headed back is especially exciting:  Our sister Renee is getting married December 21!   Congratulations again, Renee and Chris! We received your wedding invitation yesterday and can not wait to celebrate with you!

For several weeks I've been thinking of all the people I can't wait to catch up with, all the places I can't wait to go, things to do and restaurants to eat at! There are a lot of people and things we miss about Minnesota and I'm not sure we can cram it all in in only 5 short weeks but we're going to try!

I think seeing family, going to the wedding and spending Christmas with everyone is for sure at the very top of my list of things I'm excited about....seeing friends and our former small group is also at the top of the list...as far as things to do, I can't wait to SHOP AT TARGET!!!!! Oh my goodness I can't wait to shop at Target. GO TO BETHLEHEM BAPTIST CHURCH AGAIN!!! Be able to ask for anything I want in English!! Go to the grocery store and read all the labels and be able to find everything! Chop down a real Christmas tree with Caleb and my family, try to go to the Bethel Christmas concert, the Macy's exhibit, the Macy's parade, go to Mall of America, go to Rosedale Mall, walk into William Sanoma and take a deep breath of  nummy smells, have a DECAF coffee at a coffee shop, go to Panera Bread, go to Caribou, eat at Ruby Tuesday's salad bar, go to Herman's bakery with my parents, Albertville Mall, go to some big thrift stores, get bagels at Brueggers, visit the Copper Dome and our old neighborhood, walk down memory lane with Steve at the Egg and I (where we met every Friday morning while we were dating to have a Bible study over breakfast before work), eat our mom's home cooked meals.....If you want to join me in doing any of these exciting things, please let me know! I would love to have some company!  :)  

I can't wait to see many of you in, Lord willing, TWO SHORT WEEKS!!!!!! Please be in prayer everything works out smoothly (we will be trying to fly standby) and for safety as we travel (I'll be traveling alone at 31 weeks pregnant with an almost 3 year old...I'm more worried about the pregnant and flying part than the toddler part, I think Caleb is going to LOVE flying, unlike his  mommy who HATES it).  And a HUGE thank you to the people who helped make it possible for us to fly home, those who got us stand by tickets and those who paid for them - it really means more than you know!!

Moving Week!

We found out on Saturday that we are moving THIS Thursday!  We were able to go see the new apartment so we can at least picture where we will be living, which is nice.  It is about a 10-15 minute walk from our current apartment, a little closer to Church than we are now.  It seemed a little newer than our current apartment, which is nice (and we hope that  means less mold!).  It is actually fairly similar to our apartment now but a little bit smaller (especially the master bedroom) and has one bathroom instead of two. We are really thankful it has a bathtub though (!!!!) because not all apartments do...it also has a really big (Korean style) closed in porch which will be nice during nice weather and an open layout similar to our apartment now. We hope to go back and be able to measure to see if we can fit all our furniture in the new apartment or if we will need to be getting rid of some and if so, what.  Caleb's room is an odd shape (long and narrow) so we're hoping it can fit a bunkbed at some point.  We really didn't get a lot of time to look around so we are really hoping we can get back in tomorrow (Tuesday) to get a better feel for things and decide where to put things and then hoping we can get in Wednesday to clean before we move all our things in.

The Church is hiring a moving company for us, which is really, really nice and a huge blessing.  We have been told that they will "pack everything for us and move it" so hoping that is the case.  We are going through a lot of stuff and packing all our breakables and valuables ourselves, also trying to organize and throw things out.  Since the new place is a little smaller, we are trying to consolidate - plus moving is just a great opportunity to get rid of clutter and junk anyway!

It feels really overwhelming to go through everything in a short amount of time and also to decide what furniture to take and what to not take etc so we would love your prayers for energy, focus, and peace in this time!  The move in general has been really hard for me to handle...I think pregnancy probably just makes it feel even worse than it is.  It is hard to have no control over having to move out of your home. It is hard to have no choice in where you are moving TO or what your new home is like.  It is especially hard to be moving at 7+ months pregnant when the only thing I want to do is hunker down in my home and nest....moving to a new home just feels really hard because, well, this (old) apartment is our home and it is where I want to stay!  Trying to trust that the Lord has our best in this and would love your prayers in that area.  Also, just prayers to be able to surrender "control" of life over to the Lord instead of trying to cling so hard to it.  And, of course, prayers that we can get everything done and organized in an efficient and timely way, as well as for the unpacking and settling IN process to go well!  Caleb is fairly unsettled about it all too and is asking a lot of questions (mostly worried that all of his stuff will come with us!) and saying he doesn't want to move....so if you could pray for his little heart and mind to be excited about it and not worry and that he would adjust quickly and well to his new home (and that Mommy's emotions wouldn't show through but that I could convey and model excitement and trust to him).  We are hoping we can get all settled in and that it will start feeling like "home" before we leave for the States (Lord willing Nov. 30!).

We would really value your prayers this week and in the weeks to come for all of these areas, both practical and emotional, and all the logistics of the move itself.  We'll try to report back soon and maybe have a few pictures of our new home!