UnPlanned

 

You know it's a good story when you receive a book on Tuesday and finish it on Thursday of the same week without an excuse of nothing to do or too much time on your hands!  "Unplanned" by Abby Johnson kept me up late, got me up early and found its way into my purse to follow me around to the park with the kids.

 

 

This past Tuesday the thrift store was giving away free books. Steve had a chance to stop over and check out the selection and this was one of his finds. I had never heard of it before but it immediately intrigued me. Half way through the first chapter I was hooked. 

 

This is the story of Abby Johnson, a former employee at Planned Parenthood.  Regardless of which side of the fence you stand on - pro-life or pro-choice - this book is worth your time.  Abby does not condemn either side.  In fact, she is quick to point out that she has friends on both sides and that there are "good people" on both sides.  she says it best in the introduction:

 

"To this day I have friends on both sides of this polarizing debate. We all long for a story that shows that "our" side is right and good and "their" side is wrong and bad, don't we?  But I testify that there is good and right and wrong on both sides of the fence. And even more shocking - we have far more in common with the "other" side than we might imagine.  But don't slam this book (or this review!) shut because of what I've just said. Read it for that very reason....

So what side of the fence are you on?  In all likelihood as you look through the fence, you see faulty thinking and harmful behavior on the other side. Here's my question for you: are you ready to look through the fence and see goodness, compassion, generosity and self sacrifice on the other side too?  Did you feel yourself just squirm? If so, welcome to my journey (pg. xx)"

 

Her point being, that a person can have good intentions and motives, even if on an opposing side of the fence.  She is quite clear throughout her story about her change of heart, that she now realizes that abortion is murder - it really is a LIFE that is being taken - but she shares that before becoming pro life her motives were not necessarily in the wrong place. She had good intentions, she just was believing a lie.  She felt duped. And she regretted not coming to her own convictions and doing her own research sooner. 

This is the beautiful story of Abby's journey into Planned Parenthood, her time spent there trying to help women and her jolting realization during an ultrasound guided abortion that pregnancy was not a mere "medical condition" but a living baby inside a living woman.

 

It is also a testimony of the power of prayer and a story filled with how prayer changes things.  For years The Coalition for Life had stood outside the Planned Parenthood building she ran.  They prayed, they were kind, they were friendly.  Daily she saw them praying and one day she realized the power of their prayers.  In her book she documents the years they prayed and how their prayers finally prevailed, changing her life.

 

Her book had several strong "take aways" for me:

 

One of which, was to consider the ways I/we go about trying to make changes or address abortion (and other hot topics).  She shared early in her story of protestors dressing up as the Grim Reaper and standing outside the clinic, of protestors shouting hurtful words and radicals slinging accusations outside her clinic.  She also talks about abortionists who were gunned down by "pro-life" members.  And she shares how un-helpful these demonstrations were.  If anything, she felt they rallied and bonded the pro choice staff in a common dislike of "the other side."  She also shares the quiet presence of faithful prayer warriors day in and day out that stood outside her clinic.  She shares of the kindness they showed.  The smiles they gave her each day. The flowers and card telling her they were praying for her.  She saw genuine care and love and concern from them and in the end, this is what won her respect.  I think it can be easy to get caught up in "I'm in the right" and share your "rightness" in ways that does more harm than good.  It doesn't matter how "right" you might be on a topic if you treat others wrongly in the process. This was a good reminder.

 

Another was a strong reminder of the power of prayer.  This must be a theme for me this year.  Just 8 months ago, Evelyn Grace's birth and recovery was one of the most powerful examples of prayer that I have ever personally experienced.  I literally have never felt prayer so strongly around me, felt so brought before the Lord in prayer, had so many people praying for me/my family or seen it so strongly at work.  This book was another - less personal but powerful nonetheless - example of how faithful prayers do make a difference.  These people prayed for over 2 years for Abby (a stranger to them) and the clinic.  They could have easily had reason to give up and move on, as they saw no immediate answers to their prayers. Yet they persisted and saw answered prayer in the end. 

 

Whatever you are praying for - keep praying! Don't stop pleading with the Lord....He is Faithful!

 

I was also struck by how human we all are - every single one of us.  None of us is perfect. We may think we have the "right answer" or are on the "right side" but we always have more to learn, we can always grow in humility and it is important to realize those you  might "oppose" (and therefore easily villain -ize in your own mind), are only human after all. They have feelings and emotions and lives too. They have their own battles and demons and hurts.  They are likely more similar to you than you care to realize...."treat others like you want to be treated" could not be more true.  Why do we think, because someone is on the opposite "side" of us that it gives us cause to treat them wrongly?  None of that is to say that one can't share your views or talk to someone about their wrong beliefs but it is to say that there is a right and a wrong way of doing it and the motive needs to come from a right heart, a humble spirit and from genuine love and a desire to restore, not a desire to be "right."

 

Lastly, this book made me think of the unborn.  I think of abortion and the lives lost and the unborn on occasion but it isn't frequently before my eyes and therefore is something easy to forget about.  I go through phases of passionately praying or thinking of the unborn and the topic of abortion but it isn't always as lasting and consistent as I would like.  This book renewed my desire to pray (and see the importance of it).  Will you pray? Right now? This week? And continue?  Pray for both sides of the fence, for the unborn victims in it and for eyes to be opened? 

 

I encourage you to check this book out for yourself - whichever "side" you might find yourself on - and challenge yourself to a new perspective and a renewed vision.  This book is sure to draw you in, change you and challenge you!

The Waiting Child

A Book Review!

 

The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of one Orphan Saved the Life of Another

By Cindy Champnella

 

 

 

 

I have had a stack of books I have been trying to read through recently but when a friend leant me her copy of "The Waiting Child" by Cindy Campnella, I just couldn't resist.  I dug in last Monday and couldn't put it down all week!  I finished it Friday and thoroughly enjoyed getting lost in its pages, being swept up in this beautiful story of love, determination and adoption, and rekindling that "I-can't-put-this-down" feeling.

 

The story follows the adoption of a 4 year old girl from an institution in China.  It is her adoptive mom's perspective of the adoption, her daughter's journey and the story that began to unfold as her daughter learned English and started sharing pieces of her past.

 

It quickly unfolded that she left behind "her baby" in the orphanage:  a younger child she had taken under her wing and (at only 4 years old!) assumed the responsibility of "mother" for.  She was distraught to be separated from "her baby" and insisted repeatedly that her adoptive family must do something to help him. 

 

One thing I really appreciated about this story and Cindy's perspective is her openness of both the hardships and joys in adoption.  It is easy to gloss over many of the difficulties that come from adoption but she doesn't shy away from the harsh realities.  However, neither does she see them as deterrents to adoption.  She has a very balanced and healthy view (in my opinion) of adoption not being easy but being *so* worth it despite the difficulties.

 

I also really appreciated her view of what adoption must be like for the orphan.  Can you imagine having someone who looks completely different than you show up and take you away?  Or what it must be like to be called upon to trust a total stranger and have no say in the matter?  Or as a young child what getting on an airplane and traveling to a completely new country, becoming the minority, taking on a new culture and plunging into a language you have never heard must be like?  As a potential adoptive mom, it feels natural to focus on all your feelings of excitement and joy and welcoming a new family member into your family....But so important to realize the fear, strangeness and terror that might be involved for the child.  All those things, as well as all that goes in to that child learning to be safe with you and learning to trust you.  That is a lot for a baby or young child to take in, whether they are fully aware of it all or not!

 

The final big "take away" I took from it was the beautiful way Cindy (the author and adoptive mom) helped her daughter walk through the painful parts of her story - most prominently the abandonment of her birth mom.  I felt Cindy's approach to helping her daughter come to love her birth mom - her "China mom" as she came to call her....(in addition to her love for her adoptive mom) was a helpful approach.  At first, Jacklyn (the daughter) felt a lot of bitterness and negative feelings towards her birth mom.  Rightfully so, she felt abandoned and she felt abused by her birth mom (sharing examples of not having food to eat and being starving).  But with Cindy's help, she began to see that it was okay to have love for both her moms (in different ways and depths) and come to realize that perhaps her birth mom was doing the best she could (perhaps her birth mom did not have any food and was also starving, not intentionally starving her child) and was trying to make the best choices she could for her daughter. 

 

If you have ties to adoption or not, this book was a beautiful read.  It portrayed a depth of fierce love and also the realities of orphans around the world.  I enjoyed the read and wanted to pass along a recommendation I recently enjoyed. 

 

 What have you been reading recently?

Recent Reads

Right now I'm reading....

Adopted For Life  by Russell Moore

And

Dare To Discipline by James Dobson.

*******

I am also reading lots and lots of blogs about adoption.

I'm trying to get a better up-close glimpse of what it looks like to adopt.

How it changes couples and families.

How siblings react.

The issues that need to be dealt with.

The emotions that come along with it.

The stories behind the adoptions.

The stories after the adoption.

The inspiration.

The beauty.

The need.

*******

In Women's Sunday School we are going through Beth Moore's study on Esther.

I am really enjoying it, it is challenging me on so many levels.

Did you know Esther was adopted? Both her parents died when she was still young. 

That isn't the point of the study but timely, right?

*******

I am a part of a group of moms who meet together twice a month and we are studying Bible Moms together.

Another good read.  And some great ladies.

*******

That is what I'm reading this month....What are you reading?

What do you recommend?

What is challenging or inspiring or entertaining you this month?

Any great must-read adoption blogs that you love?

Please share!

A New Feature!

I've added a new feature to the blog.  Check it out along the lefthand side...Scroll down past our picture, my bio, my followers and there it is:  BookEnd Review (2011).  I have been toying around with adding this for a while.  I wanted it to have it's own seperate page where I could write little reviews as I finish the books but that didn't work so well with blogger so I'm going to Plan B. 

The list I have written out is my goal for this year.  Yes, it is a lofty goal and I may not actually finish it, we'll see.  I do love to read and these are the books I have stacked up in the hopes of reading this year.  If I don't finish, there is always next year and I figure if you don't set high goals, you'll never push yourself.  Reading is one area I:  a) enjoy b) think is really, really important and c) want to push myself in and d) want to make time for.  I always want to be a reader and I never want to lose that in my life.  In addition to these books, Steve and I are attempting (that's the key to this sentance, attempting...we are behind to date) to read through the Bible in a year (via the chronological plan) but I don't have that listed.

Here is how this list is going to work:  As I finish books, I'll update it with a "finished by" date so you can follow my progress.  You will notice I included some books on the list that I already finished this year and they have been marked with the "finished by" date.  Please note, I am in the bad habit of reading multiple books at one time (there are just some days I "feel" like one type of book and other days I "feel" like another) so that is why some may finish within a few days of each other.  I don't like this habit and I try to not keep more than 2-3 books going at a time. 

I also hope to write a short post interacting with the material or giving my "bookend review."  This is a way for me to stretch myself further and interact with the materials I read which will (hopefully) help establish them more firmly in my own mind.  This is more for my benefit than anything else but it will also give you a glimpse into what I am reading and possibly inspire you to check them out (if they are good).  If you want to read one with me, let me know and we can start at the same time and interact further.  (Sidenote: Jeni and I are going to read Ministry of Motherhood one of these days....we still need to figure that out!).

You will notice there are a few books marked "**"  These are books I have read before and want to re-read this year.  They were just that good.  Mostly books that I want to remind myself of their message on a regular basis.

That said, I hope you enjoy this feature but it is probably more for me and a way to push myself, than it really is for you, my readers.  Feel free to skip over if it doesn't interest you and feel free to join the conversation if it does!