We made it!

In case you are wondering, we did make it back to Korea okay.  I keep intending to blog - blog about our time in the states, blog about our traveling adventures, blog about Steve's time in India (Sidenote:  did you realize that in less than 2 weeks Steve touched down in Korea x2, China x2, India, Taiwan, and the United States?  And in 7 days he flew half way around the world, twice? Pretty crazy impressive.  I just realized this the other day, thought I'd share).

I know I've heard from more than a few of ya'll wondering if we made it and how things are going.  Thank you for asking, thank you for your support and thank you for your prayers!  To answer your qeustions, we are doing better.  And you can add my lack of blogging to your list of blessings for the day because any blogs I might have posted may have been more pity party than you would have liked to witness in one sitting. 

After a really hard (abrupt) good bye (we ended up leaving slightly earlier than we had planned due to open flights) and an exceptionally long travel day (during which, I might add, Caleb did a fabulous job....he is proving himself to be quite the excellent little traveler thus far in his young life), we came home to these lovely new decorations on our walls (aka MOLD):

It was mostly all in Caleb's room (worst possible place for it to be - you'll understand if you are a mom of young kiddos), with some additional growths in the living room and bathroom.  The apartment smelled like mold, we had a broken bookshelf and glass from a picture that had shattered and a thick humidity (no AC) like I've never experienced before in my life....Needless to say, this sleep deprived, already sad, disheartened mama didn't take all of this in stride.  Had someone offered to give me a one way ticket home, I would have gladly accepted.

BUT the Lord is good and we had some good friends come to our rescue, help us clean up the mold as best we could, give us encouragement and a hug, let us stay at their house, gave us a cute smiley baby to hold and hug and help cheer us up.  I am glad they are in our life on this side of the world (or any side of the world for that matter).

Since then, I've gotten caught up on some sleep, spent considerable time asking the Lord to change my heart and attitude, tried to focus on the reason for us being here (we aren't here, after all to have a beautiful home, comfortable living, or a perfect life...if we'd wanted that, we'd be stateside for sure) and I've spent time laughing with Steve and Caleb (remembering that they are "home" to me and being thankful for them in my life) and I am reminded again that really, things could be worse.

 As much as I hate the mold, as hard as it is to live in Korea and not have access to all the wonderful things America has to offer, as much as it is hard to be away from friends and family, as hard as it is to not understand the language around me or the ingredients on my food labels, as hard as it is to not have our own home and a yard and a car or nice furniture and painted walls, as much as life is not "perfect,"  it could be worse and I am thankful for the many gift and blessings we DO have, the family and friends who support and love us from a distance while we are over here, the apartment we do have, the friends we have over here, a job, food, a grand - once-in-a-lifetime adventure, an adorable toddler son who takes life in his hands and enjoys every minute with a smile, a husband who loves me and cares for me and is good to me, a God who forgives and loves despite our pity parties, our self centeredness and our lack of thanksgiving....although it isn't "easy," it really could be worse.

I am reminded, too, of a favorite quote of mine....Maybe I've shared it before?

 "I have never heard someone say 'the deepest and most rarest and most satisfying joys of my life have come in times of extended ease and earthly comfort.' Nobody says that. It isn't true. As Spurgeon said: 'They who dive deep in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls." --Pastor John

Starting to settle

I think we are finally starting to feel somewhat settled in our new home and our new church and our new surroundings.  I know culture shock ebbs and flows and will pop up again, I know my discontented heart is bound to come up with ways to be discontent, I know that there are still aspects of living in Korea that are hard and I there are aspects of America that I miss, and our home is still not completely "set up" but we are starting to feel a bit more settled. 

We've been here almost three months now.  In many ways, it feels like we've been here a lot longer.  They weren't easy months, I've shared that before.  The adjustment and the move were a lot harder than I was anticipating (and I was anticipating them to be hard!).  There were a lot of disappointments and a lot of things I wasn't prepared for and a lot of unmet expectations.  In many ways, I had heard Korea is a very modern and "first world" country and came expecting that....While that is true (kind of) it is a more recent development so in a lot of ways, Korea is still "arriving" at that and they still lag behind in many areas.  While there are some things I really appreciate and enjoy about Korea (and even some things I will miss about it) there are also many things that are very backwards, very ineffecient and seem very odd to an American.  We've caught ourselves saying "Why in the world do they do ___" or "Are you serious!?!" or "What are they thinking?" a lot.  We'll likely never understand.  I'm sure there are thousands of immigrants in the U.S. saying the same things.

The adjustment to living here and the many, many things we miss from "home" has been hard.  Adjusting to ministry life has also been a big challenge.  We don't have weekends to ourselves any more.  Many evenings are also full of ministry or other activities.  Steve feels a heavy burden for the kids here and also for the men's ministry and the church.  He loves his new job, he loves what he is doing and he enjoys the work but at the same time, I have seen him more burdened in these past 3 months than I've ever seen him.  I tease him that he is Somber/Responsible Steve now and I can't quite find Fun/Carefree Steve anywhere.  I'm mostly kidding but partly serious.  He isn't somber in a morbid, "down" way but in a thoughtful-I-have-a-lot-on-my-heart-plate-and-mind way.  He feels the heavy burden of providing for our family, leading Caleb and I, caring for our spiritual souls and also learning a new job, transitioning us into a new country, working for a church and caring for the spiritual souls of the youth.  He knows it isn't all on his shoulders and he is trusting the Lord with these things but they still do weigh on his heart (probably in a good way) but it is a new aspect to our relationship nonetheless.  I love his heart dearly.  Now we just need to figure out melting Fun Steve with Responsible Steve and we'll have a great mix!  It is all a balance and we're just learning to figure it out.  There is a learning curve, as with all big life and job changes.

Despite all of these things and all the initial hard-ness of the move and the initial frustrations and "down" days, I feel like we (and when I say that it is probably mostly "me" I'm talking about) are finally starting to turn a corner.  I feel like I don't have to fight for joy like I was at first.  I feel like I wake up excited for the day, instead of dreading it.  I feel like I'm finally laughing and smiling again.  I feel like things are starting to look familiar and even becoming "home" and "normal."  We have a new normal, but it is becoming our normal.  I can find my way around town a bit better.  I am starting to know where to go to get the things I need.  I'm getting used to not understanding or speaking the language around me.  I'm getting used to (and even enjoying) not having a personal car.  I am getting used to our new diet and at least accepting/getting over the items we can't here.  I'm even enjoying some of the Korean restaurants.  And finding some new, non-Korean restaurants.  I'm getting really excited for summer and enjoying the nicer weather we've been having and the ability to get out more.

All this is to say, I've been excited the past few weeks as I've begun to notice that life isn't as hard as it was at first and that joy isn't something I'm having to fight for as much (at least right now).  Steve and I knew without a doubt  that this is where we are supposed to be right now and that the Lord was calling us to move to Korea.  I haven't doubted that, even in the darkest of the past few months.  But even though I knew that, it didn't always change how hard the adjustment was.  But it did help. There was a "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak....and I am glad to feel like I am finally starting to emerge from the other side.  It has been a good few weeks.  Not perfect.  But good.  And, really, it has been a good few months too.  Definitely not perfect or easy.  But good. 

"I have never heard someone say 'the deepest and most rarest and most satisfying joys of my life have come in times of extended ease and earthly comfort.' Nobody says that. It isn't true. As Spurgeon said: 'They who dive deep in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls." --Pastor John

Grace & Mercy

I was going to post this last week but in the craziness, it didn't happen.  I still really wanted to post it, because it is really good. 

When Steve and I were thinking and praying about where the Lord would have us and what we should be doing right now in our lives and if Steve should go into ministry, we always said we would not move unless it was for a really, really solid church.  And we were picky.  Steve was very picky about where he would or would not apply to.  One of the things that really attracted us to this church (Songtan Central Baptist Church) was what they believed and that we knew the Gospel was preached and believed.  If you are a believer or a non-believer, we need the Gospel and we need it preached to us!

This sermon is not by our head pastor (Nelson Chapman) but it is so Gospel saturated and we were really encouraged by it.  We hope you take a minute (or about 30) and are encouraged by it as well.  The guy preaching (Eric) and his wife Laurie are teachers here at ICS and are expecting their first baby in about a month.  They are in our small group and we are really excited to go deep with them and to grow closer to the Lord together.

http://www.songtanbaptist.com/2011/01/30/mercy-grace-needed-by-all-sermon/

"How Did You Do in 2010?"

I read this great article today and plan to listen to the sermon from 1980 tonight...maybe some of you reading heard it in person originally?  That's pretty cool.  Anyway, it is a great article encouraging me to reflect back on 2010 and consider "what things to repent of and to reach for in the next lap around the sun."  I love the encouragement that end of year reflections are a "rehearsal of the end" and that "His mercy is opening before us a new life in (2011) and we can enter it and finish as a victorious fighter" if we renounce Satan's power and self-reliance, trusting Jesus. 

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/how-did-you-do-in-2010

Labor of Love

My dear friend Angela introduced me to Andrew Peterson's CD Behold The Lamb of God this Christmas season and this song has really touched my mama-heartstrings.  Maybe it is because I have been processing my last weeks (months!) of pregnancy these past days as I reminisce of what Christmas looked like last year:

Or maybe every woman goes through this the Christmas after their firstborn comes into the world?  Relating to the Christmas story in a completely different and new way--Not missing the small details and seeing the miraculous birth in a totally different light.

Or maybe it is just a really good song.  But for whatever reason, this touched me and I have been enjoying another (new to me) Christmas song today.  I especially love the part "But the baby in her womb was the Maker of the moon, He was the author of the faith that could make the mountains move."  I hope you enjoy it and connect with it as well. 

May it bring to life the Christmas story, as it did for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KY6Hov0wSc

"It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David’s town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother’s hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David’s town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love"
~ Andrew Peterson/Jill Phillips "Labor of Love"

Favorite Christmas song

I'm not sure I could ever have a favorite Christmas song...There are just too many great ones to pick from!

But a new one I found this year that I have been enjoying a lot is "Wake Up the World" by JJ Heller.

Check it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4FPlNIdQ5A

I hope you are enjoying many Christmas songs and Truth this season...Happy Listening!

This Thing is From Me

This is an unoriginal post, but I've found it encouraging in the past and again now.  Hope you are encouraged by it too!

Devotional By Laura Snow:

“My Child, I have a message for you today; let Me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds that may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread.  It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head:  ‘This thing is from me.’

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too? For, ‘He that toucheth you thoucheth the apple of mine eye’  (Zech 2:8).  ‘You are very precious in my sight’ (Isa. 43:4).  Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you.

I would have you learn when temptations assail you, and the ‘enemy comes in like a flood,’ that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never consult your taste, who put you in the background?  This thing is from Me.  I am the God of circumstances.  Thou comest not to thy place by accident; it is the very place God meant for thee.

Have you not asked to be made humble?  See then, I have placed you in the very school where the lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working  out My will for you.

Are you in money difficulties?  Is it hard to make ends meet?  This thing is from Me, for I am your purse bearer and would have you draw from and depend on Me completely.  My supplies are limitless (Phil 4:19).  I would have you prove My promises.  Let it not be said of you, ‘In this thing you did not believe the Lord your God.’

Are you passing through a night of sorrow?  This thing is from Me, I am the ‘Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.’  I have let earthly comforters  fail you, that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolation (2 Thess 2:16-17).  Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me.  I could not get your attention in your busy days and I want to teach you some of my deepest lessons.  They also serve who only stand and wait.  Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service that they may learn to wield the weapon of prayer.

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil.  Make use of it freely, my child. Let every circumstance that arises, every word that pains you, every interruption that would make you impatient, every revelation of your weakness be anointed with it.  The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things.”

It's hard to see at this size but it is a double rainbow

my favorite blog - EVER

It's no secret that I enjoy reading other people's blogs.  I like the sneak peak into other people's lives, thoughts, homes, and souls.  I like hearing things people might never actually say in person.  I like the tips I learn, the life lessons I glean from and the encouragement I find.  And mostly I'm just snoopy (as Steve likes to point out regularly).

This blog is my absolute favorite.  I can't get enough of the truth that pours forth and I love the way Ann writes.  I've never met this lady (and I'm not even sure how I found her blog) but I'm totally encouraged and convicted every time I check in with her.  I hope you check it out and are blessed in the ways I've been blessed.

A quote from a recent blog post on the importance of each day that I'm tossing around my mind and life today: "The ways we live our everydays is the way we live our lives" 

http://www.aholyexperience.com/
Enjoy!

"Background"

So I don't usually share Steve's love and enthusiasm for Christian rap (yes, you may go ahead and laugh now) but I do have to say that the lyrics are usually exceptionally deep and filled with more truth in a short amount of breath than anything I've ever heard.  And I like that.  But recently Steve bought Lecrae's latest album "Rehab" and we've been living in it together.  It's a slightly different sound than his previous ones (in my uneducated rap experience) and I like it.  It is less rappy and they don't rap as fast so I can actually understand it =)  But anyway, we love several of the songs on the CD and one in particular I'd like to share.  So for everyone else out there (like myself) who isn't into rap music, I hope you enjoy the poetry.

"I know I’m safest when I’m in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I’m dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain’t got no time to play life’s foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name?
And it’s a shame, the way I want to do these things for You
Don’t even cling to you, take time to sit and gleam from You
Seems You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it’s ’cause she never heard of this"

"I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control. and then I sank
So I don’t want to take the lead, ’cause I’m prone to make mistakes
All the folks who follow me, going end up in the wrong place
So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
‘Cause if I do this by myself, I’m scared that I’ll succeed
And no longer trust in you, ’cause I only trust in me
And see, that’s how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I’m bluffing, You know what’s in my hand
Me, I’m just going to trust you, You cause the dice to land
I’m in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I’m so at ease, I’m so content
I’ll play the background, like it’s an instrument"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHnZRZiCYHE

I think it captures some of our feelings/reasons behind deciding to move to a country on the other side of the world and maybe that is why we enjoy it on repeat this weekend. 

gratitude&faith

"Since every moment is the beginning of the rest of your life, and every moment is the end of the past, every moment should be governed by the glad affections of gratitude and faith." (Piper)