Sunday, May 8, 2011

My second (first) Mother's Day

I told Steve last week that I was extra excited for Mother's Day this year.  In a way, it feels like my first  Mother's Day (even though it is my second).  Last year's Mother's Day I was so full of post partum depression and saddness that I told Steve I didn't want to celebrate.  It was a hard day, a very sad day.  Looking back, I wish I could have seen what I see now.  I wish I could go back and fill myself with the joy and love I experience now, overflowing from my full heart.  I wish I could push back the clouds of PPD that blinded my heart and eyes.  It makes me sad to think of the joy and moments I missed those first hard months adjusting to mommy-hood.  But today, one year later, life looks completely different - the cloud is gone and my heart is flooded daily with a million thanks for this precious boy and his life and all he means to me (and to us).  I am so grateful to be his mama and to spend my days with him.  God has been so good to us in giving us Caleb.  What a gift.

A blog I really enjoy did a contest this past week in honor of Mother's Day.  They collected comments of 250 words or less around the theme of "I'm so glad you were born."  I entered mine and thought I would post it here as well, in honor of Mother's Day.

My Sweet Caleb, I am so glad you were born.  At first, I was scared, I felt unprepared, and I didn’t feel “ready" or "old enough."  I wasn't sure I wanted a baby. I cried. Then I felt you move.  I felt your flutters and then your kicks and rolls and punches.  I saw you on the ultrasound. I heard your heart beating –you were alive!  You were mine. My son. Then you were born and I held you in my arms, for real.  All warm and snuggly and smelling that sweet-birth smell.  New.  You were perfect. You were ours. I cried. Then you grew! You nursed and grew and grew some more. Time flew. You got so big and strong and handsome.  You look just like your daddy.  You started giving hugs and kisses.  You began sharing your thoughts and your world with us. And you loved us, we were yours.  Oh my dear, sweet Caleb.  I am so glad you were born.  I am so thankful you are mine and so blessed to be yours. Love always & Forever,  Mama
C didn't want to cooperate with a Mother's Day pic - this is the best we got!

1 comment: