Today was Caleb’s original due date.
It was the day marked on our calendar “baby.”
We counted the months and then the weeks and then the days until January 14th.
Our first ultrasound at almost 8 weeks (supposedly the most accurate prediction of due dates) gave us this first guesstimate….Our second ultrasound at 22 weeks gave us a range of Jan. 14-21. We are thankful for this second “range,” as it allowed us to push back when the doctors wanted to induce on Jan. 22 and let little C grow until Feb. 5!
It was hard to wake up Jan. 14 to no contractions and watch the day come and go. It was harder still to watch Jan. 21 pass with still no sign of baby. It wasn’t an easy time but looking back it is great to remember God’s faithfulness in it and His plan for it. It serves as a good reminder that God holds all things in His hands (even Birth Days) and that babies come when they are good and ready! It also began the first of many lessons in the department of “once you have kiddos you realize you are not in control of your life, your body, your time, your schedule, your sleep or your activities!” It has been a good lesson to learn…pre-kiddo prideful me often felt in control and in charge, a deceptively dangerous and easy lie to believe. I still fall for it but Caleb has reminded me again and again just how reliant, un-together, out of control and in desperate need of help I am. Just one of the many big life lessons the little guy has taught me this year! Hopefully I’ve taught him a small thing or two sometime along the way.
Today, I am remembering last year on this day. I am remembering the scrunched stretches inside my belly that was Caleb (the same Caleb that I ran with and played with today), the little hand that was up by his head that punched my left side (the same hand I held as we walked across the kitchen floor to his bedroom tonight), that little butt that liked to sway way up on my right side (the same little butt that sat in the bathtub and then was wrapped in a yellow fuzzibunz diaper before bed), that little foot that liked to get caught and tangled in my ribs (the same foot that learned this week how to kick the soccer ball). Today I am remembering God in His faithfulness to us (and Caleb) during those last weeks and days leading up to his birth day. Today I am thankful for the Lord bringing us saftely through that time and also for Him providing Steve to walk through it with me. Thank you Lord for your continued faithfulness and your steadfast mercy to us.